Critic #1: <Yi Pang>
Compare to the second version, I like the first one better, since in the second one, the distance between the two countries are condensed. Maybe change the gray color to light green in your color model. I also suggest you to use the states' shape instead of the star to indicate the place as in the second version.
According to this feedback, I changed the color of world map into light green in my color model. I also changed the star into shape of the state.
revisions:
Critic #2: <Xiaowen>
I liked the second one better because the first one has too much gray and they are distracted in my opnion. Since there is no map in your visual model, I see that there is a plane on the top right corner. Maybe you could try to emulate the plane icon into your display. Also I see straight lines instead of dotted lines in your visual model, so maybe you could emulate that better in your display. Also it may be good to add a title so people know right away what your display is about.
I changed the light grey into light green in order to avoid having too much gray. I also emulate the plane in my visual language model into my display. I changed the dotted line to be a solid line. Also added title and body text to this section.
revisions:
Critic #3: <Sybil>
I can tell how you emulate your color model，and I think the left one does a better job at using different colors. However，in your visual language model every icon looks very simple and clean，in that sense I think your second map is better. Not sure if the distance between two countries are proportional to the actual distance，because without seeing other continents，these two countries seem rather close. Lastly，adding a title will help people understand what you are trying to say with these maps.
In order to show the correct distance between the two countries, I chose the first version to edit further. I added a title and some body text so that the display could be more explicit.
revisions:
Critic #1: <Darryl Ly>
Overall it looks very nice. The only thing is that maybe experiment on the header. Maybe make it like a tag as in the color model. Compare to the map, the text part has more potential to be improved.
I did not change the title into "tag" like ones as in my color model, because in my visual model, the headers are simple. I did not change the header color either because I have already changed the color of the map, so that green is already dominant in this display. I kept the header to be orange in order to make this display more color diverse.
revisions:
Critic #2: <Jacob>
Overall it looks pretty good. My suggestion is to play around more with the colors. Maybe change the country color into green instead of orange, and change the shape of state into orange, so that the state can stand out. Also, in visual model, there are no strokes. Maybe change the white part of the plane into pale green so that you don't need to use stroke.
I changed the white part of the plane into pale green so that I don't need to use stroke, which match better with my visual language model. I also changed the color of country into green and color of the states into orange, so the transition will look better, and the states can stand out.
revisions:
Location Element & Critiques
Critic #3: Andrea
I really like the change on color for your map because it follows your color model very well. You used the blue which is used more for background and your map is the background and the orange showing the important countries and states. The only thing you would need to add is an explanation on why the map is there because right now the reader won't be able to understand why you have the map, but after the explanation it would be understandable. Great job and the plane looks great and just like your visual model.
I kept the body text explaining this display according to this feedback. Will edit those pseudo ones into real description later.
revisions:
This emulation shows:
This display shows where this project "Playground" started. The three team members from China and the US were inspired by small kids in their families. One of our team member has a little brother in family. Since both of her parents have jobs and she is study abroad in the US. They have very limited time to accompany and guide him. She really wanted to design some fun games to guide kids. After talk, our team decided to develop this "playground" educational game to help parents' to have a safe of mind to let their kids play independently while providing them a very fun and engaging game experience while learning soft skills.
​
How this element exploits the visual potential of appearance:
(1) Used pale green and light grey to convey the sense of rolled map sticking on the wall.
(2) Used bright green to show all other countries and bright orange to highlight the countries where team members are from.
(3) Used text labels and light grey to show the exact places team members are from and are inspired.
(4) Used the line and plane icon to show how teams members are met and worked together.
​
How this element emulates the models:
(1) To emulate my color model, I used pale green and light grey to convey the rolled map idea. Used bright green in the world map. Used bright orange and light grey to highlight the exact places. Used light and dark grey on lines and plane icon.
(2) To emulate my visual language model, I made this display similar to the poster sticking one the brick wall as in my visual language model. I also made the world map with only fill in colors but no strokes. The airplane icon was made according to the plane icon from visual model too. It used color in different lightness to convey a sense of depth.
(3) To emulate my typography model, I used the similar font and text size in the model on the labels in this display.
​
​
Sources/Credits: N/A
